I just decided to change Random Round Up into an actual round up. Then I chose to post entries like this instead, in a Life Lately, like other bloggers do.
I’ve gone through a lot of stuff. Some of them I wanted to keep private, others I felt like I should share with you. At last, I decided to bare a bit of myself as a part of my branding.
It’s very crucial for all of us. For you guys, you may relate to a thing or two I say. For me, it’s my release. People fight and say, “just keep a journal, keep it to yourself”. But no! I grew up on the internet. 13 years passed since my first scratch-on dial up card. (Yes, I’ve been here for so long!) This is how I’ve lived since then, and I’m still here. I’m an internet nomad. I moved from Friendster to Harry Potter forums to Star Wars communities to My Chemical Romance boards to Anne Rice vampire blogs to gossip sites to social media to Reddit, and then, this blog.
Hopefully, this is a place that I can settle in.
I do feel at home here, but I felt like there’s a block that’s hindering me from progress. The more I ignore the clutter in both my laptop and in my room, the bigger it gets. And it’s not just my blog. It’s also in a lot of aspects in my life too. I’m grateful and I know great things are gonna happen. But something is resisting this from making good things happen. Was it my fear? Was it my past?
Here I am now, with my quarter life crisis.
To the root of my confidence issues,
They said past is past. It’s very easy for most people to tell you to suck it up and move on. But again, it’s easy to say only. Shit, I shouldn’t even think of you either. After all, 10 years passed and a lot took place since then. You might’ve changed for good. Shall that be true, then there’s no need to write this after all. And yes, there is no need to write this.
But deep down, who I was 10 years ago is screaming to who I am today to do this. I’m better today. And maybe it’s because I chose to ignore the issue instead. But just because it’s done and you’re not in front of me anymore, that doesn’t cancel how much it affected me before. And I want to do this because I want my subconscious to be free of your actions. I want to let go of the feelings attached with what you did to me. I should’ve done that, but I only knew better now. And now’s my chance.
Warning: The following post contains spoilers from the Netflix show 13 Reasons Why. It also contains sensitive issues such as suicide, bullying, and trauma that goes with it.
Read with caution.
First, let me set the record straight. I don’t dislike the show. Then, this post is not a boycott of it either. This is just a reflection of what I think about the show since there’s so much hype now.
Honestly, I’m a very positive person. Okay, I have a few worries here and there. But that’s part of life though. We have to balance between joy and sorrow, all that, right? My life has been going pretty well anyway. New career opportunities, hanging out with my friends, being with my family…
But last week, I thought I was gone for good. I thought I was safe under so many trees and lots of grass. If I’m in touch with Mother Earth, I’d be fine. Either way though, global warming is an utter bitch who wants to take lives away.
4 out of 5 chances, you’re likely Filipino. Most of you guys are Filipino, so you know this situation very well. This happens when you go out with your family or friends, especially at the mall. We don’t really notice this at first because it’s “the norm”. The more I thought about it, the more I learned how ingrained this is in our culture.
But if you’re non-Filipino, let this be something to learn about us. Take this in the right way, it’s what makes us interesting as a nation. It’s something subconscious and ingrained in our culture. The moment I realized it, I was like “Oh s***, that’s it.”
I’m gonna tell a story from the second POV: from your view. Forget about your age, gender, or whether or not you own a license. Today, you are going to drive a car.
First things first: I don’t believe in airing out my dirty laundry online anymore. My teenage (and 20/21 year old self) kept making that mistake, but gladly I improved since. I only talk s*** if I need to say something out loud for the people in the back. Also, this means I wanna keep some things private. I do enjoy sharing life on social media, but at some point I grew tired and learned the beauty of privacy in the 2010’s. I try to keep some of my life details here to a minimum.
But there’s something I always wanted to share with you that’s really bothering me. And yeah, it’s very personal so I dunno what the hell did I just type before this. Yet I noticed I’m not alone in my problem. You probably relate to it, or know someone who does.
To put it short. I have anxiety.
It’s been one month since I opened Aicsthetic! (Party poppers everywhere.) I never took blogging seriously before. But now, writing at least an entry per week pushes me to keep going with the blog. As I mentioned previously, I always don’t push through with my creative projects. This time, I hope the blog lasts for years.
Now to business. Whew! I’m glad 2016 is almost over. The year turned out to be a total mess. Personally though, I still had positive things that kept me in check this 2016. And as we’re on the last week of the year, here’s the December 2016 Random Round Up!
We each have different views on the holidays. For some, they see Christmas as a day of giving and taking. Christians often remind others of Jesus’s birth during this time. Businesses take this chance to lure the market in the guise of discounts. Most take the time off to rest with their families or travel to new places.
Personally, this season is a good time to look back. It’s the perfect time to reflect on the year that passed by, or the life choices I made in general. Also, yes: an excuse to write a Ruminate & Reflect post.
My history with planners started when I got a refillable leather organizer. I got it when I was Grade 5. Looking back, I didn’t know what I needed a planner for… Maybe I used it for homework or school clubs, I guess. But I carried on the yearly habit of getting a planner to write down reminders I might forget in every day life.
It’s been 12 years since I got my first planner. I’ve gone from Best Buy’s refillable organizers to a Starbucks holiday planner. (Never again, to be honest.) However, two planners from Belle Du Jour became my go-to products for a productive year.
During college, I wrote in NAVI: Your Life Navigator twice (2011 & 2013). I couldn’t use it as much because it catered to travelers which I wasn’t that much of
yet. I only used it for listing down course requirements or org work. But I found another BDJ planner for the ambitious… I even used this for around three years now! I used it in 2014 and 2016, now I’m gonna use it for 2017!
2016 is a huge mistake, generally. It killed off the coolest people in this planet, for one. Then, it brought out the worst in people–especially those put in so much power. Also, violence is everywhere. Even the environment agreed with us and just decided to eff it off. Not sure if we’re in an episode of Game of Thrones or Black Mirror. But either way, it’s a mess.
Personally, good things happened to me in 2016. It goes beyond “I’m alive”, “I survived”. Actual changes that either benefited me or taught me something happened. I can’t say I’m super satisfied with this year and rate it a 10/10. But I took baby steps to self-improvement, for sure.
I intended to post this around the last day of the year. But with so much to do, I’m writing this in advance to avoid further delays. Procrastinating won’t do favors. So I compile the highlights from the bumpy ass road called 2016.